Elvis sang, and wrote about it. Marilyn Monroe and countless other famous actors adored by millions said they never felt more alone than in a roomful of people.
In Jerry Lewis's book about his lifelong and often faltering relationship with partner Dean Martin, Lewis remarked how people only seemed to wait for funerals to express their feelings about the dearly departed.
Recently on 60 Minutes Australia, they mentioned how loneliness in today's society's ranks as an actual "disease". The broadcast cites how people in various countries now have to pay others to pal around with them, since real friends are seldom to be found. In addition to that segment, the person I've always modeled Nexus himself after, William "James T. Kirk" Shatner, weighed in at the end on this very subject. A celebrity that served as a heroic role model for millions during the past 6 decades, appears to be as lonely as anyone.
I can relate. I have lots of great fans and great family, two blowhards, a couple of caterwauling diks, and a few fish. But I have very few friends, and often feel just as lonely as the commander of a Starship.
Fans write me to express their very heartfelt sentiments about the work I do, but I rarely receive any personal phone calls. If I do, 98% of the time it's either my wife Jaynelle, or some robot trying to sell me something.
From the very active social life I enjoyed during my 20's, 30's, and much of my 40's--my 50's and now early 60's have been a wasteland of social contact. Everyone I used to know is still out there, but I never hear from them. Any old friends who may be reading this might try and appease their conscious by feeling prompted to reach out for a call or two, but it won't last. Guaranteed. For me, real friends have become all but extinct.
So what's happened? Has an over 60 viewpoint soured me in some way?
One answer is that when things like t-e-x-t-i-n-g came along, people began to find a convincing rationale to stay home and live their lives pushing buttons from a couch. Since texting is something I don't do and hope never to resort to, I'm stuck with the "old-fashioned" sentiment that all of us once had up until the 1980's--and going back to the dawn of time--that we never missed what we never had.
The other thing about aging is that you get to see every trend the decades throw at you, and all the changes that go with it. Personally, seeing some of the social trends today make me wonder what planet I'm on, but that often goes with over 40 territory. With an entire world now being forced into isolation, interesting things emerge. Some of us stay home trying to make the best of it. Others decide to loot and burn their own cities.
Even before the "epidemic", we conveniently sheltered ourselves from others, compelled to check our iPod lifelines virtually every minute. The hearkening beeps from these little devices has given us great advantages, but try and remember how double-edged most "advantages" cut.
Everyone still has the option to change these trends, but once indoctrinated to taking the easy way out, things like this seldom change.
Yours for a questioning future,
Steve Rude the Dude
9 comments
I know how you feel Steve.I’m looking at 60 next month and you said everything I pretty much feel.Most all of my friends have either died or moved off.The really close ones seemed to let me down the hardest.I have a good wife and some pretty cool Grandkids but they are getting to the age where they don’t stay with us that much.Society has lost it’s ability to deal face to face and the virus has just made it that much worse.Even my oldest Grandson (16) faces it,to an extent.
I believe it was Alice Cooper who said ,
I may be lonely,but I’m never alone
and the night may pass me by,But I’ll never cry.
I do have my faith to get me through the really hard times.Like the Bible says," There is one that is closer than a brother".
Oh yeah,Thanks for all the good stories over the years!
You can reach out too, you know, Steve. :-) Never did hear if you had gotten my message about not being able to meet up with you for the life drawing class in Madison. – Masher
I can relate to this as my life is pretty routine. Go to work, come home exhausted, eat, sleep, check news on the computer before work. and get ready for work again. Look forward to the two days off I have and then it’s back to work. I finally broke down and got a cell phone only because I might need it for an emergency. Don’t use it much and leave it in the car when I go to work. The older you get, and I’m in my 60’s as well it is more difficult to have friends or relationships. Most are married and have relationships. Younger people have no interest in dating older people. Singles my age look and act older. I’m a kid at heart because of my interests. Comic books, old movies, old TV shows, cartoons. Can’t stand most new shows and movies. Classics for me. Live in a different time. Talk to a few people but don’t hang around with anyone. You look around and realize that this is all temporary. You can’t take material things with you and you either have to sell it all or die with it. At least it is my entertainment while I’m on this planet.
Give me your number. One can never have too many friends.
I have the same complaints about people, although I don’t know the solution. People are apathetic and think mostly of themselves.
I all fairness, do you call others?